Report Suspicious Activity (revisited)

A grandmother decides to mail a check to her grandson as an Eid (Muslim Holiday) Gift. She writes the check payable to her daughter in order for her to cash it and give it to the grandson. In the place left for writing what the check is for she writes her grandson's name. the check is mailed. It travels across the country to where her grandson lives. Her daughter receives the check and takes it into the bank to cash. She approaches the teller and explains that she'd like to cash this check. The teller looks at the check, pauses momentarily, and then excuses herself. She returns 5 minutes later with her supervisor just as the police enter the bank. They approach the daughter and gruffly request that she come with them. She questions the reason as they forcefully remove her from the bank while the scrutinous eyes of other bank patrons watch with confusion.
Across the country 20 minutes later, Grandma's doorbell rings. She opens the door and to her surprise she's met by two police officers and two men in suits. They inquire who she is and when she tells them, she too is taken into custody.
Ok, let me add more detail this time.
A grandmother on the West coast wants to send her grandson some money for an Eid Gift. Even though she's not Muslim herself, she wants to celebrate with him his holiday and let him buy himself something he'd like. So she writes the check payable to her daughter and in the place left to write what the check is for she writes her grandson's first name: Jihad.
The check is received on the East Coast by her daughter who promptly takes it to the bank to be cashed. She enters the bank in full hijab, all black (veil included) and approaches the teller. As usual, all eyes are on her and conversation stops as she makes her grand entrance into the bank and walks the not-so-red carpet towards the teller. The daughter feels momentarily as if she has just stepped into one of those old commercials for that investment firm, "When E.F. Hutton speaks(immediate silence), everyone listens."
She explains that she'd like to cash this check. The teller looks at the check. And not to her surprise, because she figured "they" were all terrorists anyway, the check said it was for a "JIHAD."
Now Vikki, the teller, has been with the bank for 5 years. She sees herself as responsible and reliable. As she looks at the woman dressed in all black, covered from head to toe, she instantly remembers the TV news program she viewed last night. They spoke about the infiltration of "Al Qaeda Terrorist Cells" right into the backyards of America. As she drove on the highway to work this morning she read the flashing billboard that stated: "Report Suspicious Activity". "This is not suspicious," thinks Vikki, "This is BLATANT. This woman is getting funds from across America to ignite a Jihad on US soil!" She knows it's her duty as an American to report this to the proper authorities. As the Star Spangled Banner rings in the background of her thoughts, she realizes that she may be single-handedly stopping a terrorist attack from being carried out! The word "Hero" comes to to mind as she excuses herself for a moment.
Back to the other side of the country, where the proper authorities have also been contacted, Grandma has been arrested for funding a "JIHAD IN AMERICA" with a $50 check.


Jasmine said...

I know its not supposed to be comedy, but it is quite funny. I don't really blame the tellers for panicing. The way they went about it was highly questionable of course, and they should have been less heavy handed, and perhaps asked a few more questions first, but if I saw a cheque for "Jihad" I would probably worry a little too ;0)

American Muslima Writer said...

Yup it happened, has happend, will keep happening! Unfortionatly!

Sadly one time my friend entered the bank with full niqab on and a uneducated bank teller immediatly pressed the emergency button thinking a robebry was about to take place, can you imagine how mortifying that was for her! Surrounded quickly by police everyone looking at her like she's some criminal! UFF!!

So yeah although as Americans we see the other side from the teller's view easily but still I too might eb a little suspicious so they have the right to be too. But I think they could do it a little less harshly. Insha'Allah everyone comes away a little smarter next time. The grandma not to write jihad on checks, the daughter not to try to cash jihad checks, the son to change his name.... ok I'm kidding on the last one :D


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