A Day in the Hijab of Shama

There's a hanger haphazardly dangling from the bathroom doorknob. Let's not get into why it's there or who put it there. To reach a conclusion to these mysteries it would take us through a time warp and onto the set of that Abbott & Costello episode, "Who's on First." So to prevent having to converse with my children for more than 2 minute intervals, i take the hanger to my bedroom, throw it on my bed (i should've hanged it in the closet right then of course, but hey, I'm grown and I can do what i want...right?)

Morning continues with a mad rush to the kitchen to make toast with jam for my son who is on his way out the door to Hifzh class(Quranic memorization). He will be leaving his wholesome lunch at home and will complain later that i didn't risk life and limb at 120 miles per hour on the highway in order to catch up with his ride and catapult his khaki-brown, Land's End thermal lunchbox into their sunroof. This is our ritual and it must be done bi-weekly in order for the world's cosmic energy to continue to flow properly.

While in the kitchen i go ahead and decide that all of my children deserve breakfast today in spite of my empty threats from last night to starve them until they shrivel into jerky meat and sell them to a dog food company. You see, "Not Me" spilled milk onto everyone's food while apparently attempting some kind of circus act at the dinner table (his sisters pay him with fries, garlic bread and desserts for his prime-time entertainment).

After the chaos of breakfast, "Mommy, i don't want jelly on mine," "Mommy, she's looking at me when i chew," and my all-time favorite "Mommy, she put a boogie in my juice," I sit down with my cup of coffee and attempt to steal 5 minutes of downtime before the next catastrophe. It's looking good. The girls are now hypnotised by the DVD i put on for them (4 kids ago I'd never have so many DVD diversions/sad attempts at peace and quiet)and my feet are propped up while i take my first sip of hazelnut cof- WHAT?!!! That blasted hanger is now in my 2yr old's hot hands! She must have quietly followed me (this kid will make a great stalker one day) into my room and taken the hanger back out. "Go put it back now," I scream-I mean, I calmly say to her. Realizing that she has closed the door to my bedroom, I know I've lost the battle again. I can tell her until my lips chap to go put it back, but she hasn't learned the twist and push/pull method it takes to open a door yet. So, because I've vowed that the next 5 minutes belong to me and my coffee, i tell her to just hang the stupid thing back on the bathroom door. We've gone full circle...the story of my life.

Today is one of those busy dizzy days. Just as I attempt to do one thing 5 other seemingly more important issues pop up in my way demanding my immediate attention. So all day long I've been moving thru a spiral of chores and children, phone calls (sitting on hold for what seemed like hours) and knocks at the door. It's now 5 something in the evening and I haven't gotten dressed yet! And the very first task I set out to do, which by the way was most important, didn't get done. And now I'm dizzy, frazzled, haggared, tired, cranky, ugly, stinky, hungry....wow I sound like the 7 dwarfs only I just listed 8. Oh great, now i'm babbling.

Is there spell check on this thing? Because I'm probably mispelling everything over 2 syllables. Anyhoo, just a sprinkle of my day: Woke up at the crack of dawn (literally). So did my kids! Uugggh! By 6 am, I'd cooked two breakfasts, cleaned one poopy diaper, mopped the kitchen floor where my 1 yr old poured her daddy's cup of coffee and reviewed some school work with my son. 8 am, my extra baby came. I watch her weekdays for my friend. And you know what that means? 8:30 another poopy diaper. Meanwhile I'm chasing my 4 yr old around whispering in a loud tone: "SSHHHHHH! " as he jumps from couch to pillow to toy to little sister's head. So little sister cries which causes extra baby to cry which makes me want to cry too. My husband who works swing shift and is trying to sleep comes out, shushes them all one time and the house falls SILENT... GO FIGURE!

Well enough complaining for now. By the way, my 1yr old is crying at me right now for being on the computer in my leisure time (how dare I). I have two words for this day: Early Bedtime.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house . Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside, he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."