Division of Vital Records..."Who's on First?"
ring... ring... ring-
"Whewwww(sighing) Division of Vital Records can I help you?"

"Hi, I recently ordered a birth certificate for my newborn daughter. What I rcvd was a crooked photo copy of it on flimsy printer paper."

"Ma-am, what you rcvd was a book copy of the official birth certificate. It is official."

"But why did I rcv this book copy instead of the regular type I have for my other kids?"

"Was one of the parents born out of the country?"


"That's why Ma-am. If one of the parents was born outside the United States they issue a book copy birth certificate."

"But, MA-AM, why do my other children not have this?"

"Hhhmm (exhaling with annoyance)Where were you born?"


"MA-AM, you just said you were born out of the country!"

"NO, you asked if ONE of the parents was born out of the country and I replied in the affirmative. My husband was born in Nigeria and is a US citizen."

"Well that's why you rcvd the book copy."

"Look, my husband's place of birth was the same at the birth of our other 2 children and we rcvd REGULAR birth certificates!"

"But they don't state his place of birth on them. This one is better because it's more detailed(it contains the name and address of the attending OB, big whoop) and if you try to get a passport for the child you won't have any problems."

"ALL of my children have rcvd passports with the original certificates w/o any problems. I fail to see the significance of this book copy except to TAG us as foreigners immediately upon seeing this crappy piece of paper instead of an official TRADITIONAL birth certificate."

"Well ma-am, this is what is issued to parents born other than the US."

"You idiot! Are you listening to me? This is NOT what I've rcvd in the past..."

--CLICK (sound of her hanging up on me)

"Gee, that went well."

Note to self: 1. In the future try not to lose your temper in the mist of stupidity especially when you are trying to get them to assist you. 2. From this day forward, ask for the name of the person on the other end before anything else.


carlaj22 said...

I'm surfing via the NaBloPoMo Randomizer. Today it brought me to you.

Don't you just hate bureaucracy?

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