Change Can Be Good, Bad, and Even Ugly

There was once a woman who hated change. Not the change that lies under the cushions in ones couch, she liked that very much. But she was not very fond of the changes that life can bring about. She was extremely routine with her daily activities. She ate the same meals on Monday that she ate every Monday. She wore the same clothes on Tuesday that she wore last Tuesday and the one before that. She called her mother every Wednesday at 10:45 am while taking a cup of tea in the same blue mug that she always used. Thursdays were always laundry day. And, well I suppose you get the gist of it.

One Friday afternoon, while talking to her friend on the phone (as she always did on Fridays at this time), her friend suggested she change up just a bit. "Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'Change can be good'?" her friend said. "It'd be nice to see you live on the wild side for a change. You know, like wear your hair down for a change."

After some consideration, the woman realized that her life had become rather dull and routine. She was fine with this. But she began to ponder on how boring she must seem to her husband. he had never complained but now she was wondering if he was just being polite. So the woman decided to take the plunge and make some small changes in her life.

On Monday, she ate the same meals but she drank juice instead of milk. Tuesday, she wore the same clothes but changed the way she styled her hair. Wednesday, she called her mother at 12 noon. Yes folks, she was feeling extra daring Wednesday. Thursday, she washed the colored clothes before the whites (as she had always done the other way round). By Friday, she was so proud of her ability to be flexible, she drove a new route to the grocery store. When she paid for her groceries she put her wallet in her left pocket rather than her right. She was on a roll now. She was so tickled, she felt like a schoolgirl who just jumped on the back of a Harley with a biker dude named Bruce or Bubba while her Daddy shouted and waved his fist as they pulled away from the curb. That's right, she was a rebel without a cause.

On the way home from the grocery store, she stopped for a pedestrian who was j-walking. The next thing she knew she was rear-ended and missed hitting the pedestrian by only inches. "Well this is not a good change," she thought. The two drivers got out of their cars and began to go over insurance and whatnot. A police officer happened to be near and came to assist. He asked them for their driver's licenses. The woman reached into her right pocket. Then remembering that she changed her wallet to her left, she reached for it again. But it was gone. After much panic and frustration, she explained to the officer that she did have a license and that it must have fallen from her pocket at the store. Soon after, she was on her way home with a damaged bumper and a citation for driving without a license.

Upon arriving home, she was met by her husband who calmly listened to her ordeal and then gently kissed her forehead as he rose from his seat. Looking at her new hairstyle, "Hey not to make matters worse honey, but you got a few new grey hairs sprouting." Then he tickled the top of her head playfully and she smacked his hand away. So much for the new do. Now her little rebellion didn't seem so glamorous. Since she'd started making these changes, she'd drank all of the juice and the milk had spoiled and gone to waste. Her new hairdo made it possible to showcase the new greys that threatened to reveal her real age. Her mother was angry with her because she'd become so accustomed to her calling at 10:45, that when she didn't hear from her daughter, she went into a panic believing something terrible had happened to her.

The woman slipped off her pink socks, that used to be white until a red garment accidentally got left in the washer when she washed her whites last instead of first. Then she called the phone company and changed her phone number. She decided that the only changes she should have made to begin with was to change who she called her friend.
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