A Day in the Hijab of Shama

There are times when I feel numb to all that is good in my life and I'm like an exposed nerve to all else.  May Allah protect me from being ungrateful of His countless blessings. 

Allaah swears an oath by them, and swearing an oath by something is indicative of its importance and great benefit. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "By the dawn; by the 10 nights" [al-Fajr 89:1-2]. Ibn Abbaas, Ibn al-Zubayr, Mujaahid and others of the earlier and later generations said that this refers to the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah. Ibn Katheer said: "This is the correct opinion." [Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 8/413]

Praise be to Allaah Who has created Time and has made some times better than others, some months and days and nights better than others, when rewards are multiplied many times, as a mercy towards His slaves. This encourages them to do more righteous deeds and makes them more eager to worship Him, so that the Muslim renews his efforts to gain a greater share of reward, prepare himself for death and supply himself in readiness for the Day of Judgement.

This season of worship brings many benefits, such as the opportunity to correct ones faults and make up for any shortcomings or anything that one might have missed. Every one of these special occasions involves some kind of worship through which the slaves may draw closer to Allaah, and some kind of blessing though which Allaah bestows His favour and mercy upon whomsoever He will. The happy person is the one who makes the most of these special months, days and hours and draws nearer to his Lord during these times through acts of worship; he will most likely be touched by the blessing of Allaah and will feel the joy of knowing that he is safe from the flames of Hell. [Ibn Rajab, al-Lataaif, p.8]

Ibn 'Abbas reports that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "No good deeds done on other days are superior to those done on these days [meaning the ten days of Dhul-Hijjah]." The companions asked, "O Messenger of Allaah, not even jihad in the way of Allaah?" He said, "Not even jihad, except for the man who puts his life and wealth in danger [for Allaah's sake] and returns with neither of them." [This is related by the group except Muslim and an-Nasa'i]

Fasting Day of Arafat


Abu Qatadah reported that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Fasting on the day of 'Arafah is an expiation for two years, the year preceding it and the year following it. Fasting the day of 'Ashurah is an expiation for the year preceding it." [This is related by "the group," except for al-Bukhari and at-Tirmidhi]

By JIMAS

Well Dear, by the Mercy of Allah, we've made it 9 WHOLE YEARS.  Together we've experienced love and loss and love again.  We've struggled through the monotony of day to day trials.  We've welcomed 4 beautiful children into our lives, baring your dimpled chin and stubborn disposition and curiously peering through my eyes and speaking with my often too sharp tongue. Our waistlines grew in solidarity during each pregnancy. And i graciously ignored my jealousy when you lost your "baby bump" before i did.  We've comforted each other thru illnesses and encouraged one another with iman. We've learned that when you say "fried egg" you mean "scrambled egg." It's SCRAMBLED- ahem...We've ascertained that when I'm silent for any length of time, its because I'm angry.  We've come to the conclusion that you argue to be funny (which you are not) whereas i argue to make a point.  We've fought and made up more times than i can count via text message.  Yes, we've occasionally allowed Shaitan to distract us from our goals and we've welcomed Allah's guidance to lead us back on track.

I've overlooked your shortcomings and you've forgiven my faults.  I've learned to appreciate your cryptic complements and ignore your direct criticisms. Just as you've grown to accept my constant need for affection and avoid me during my monthly bouts of psychosis.  I'm grateful that we can still smile when we see each other (even if it's forced).  Thank you for never once telling me my butt looks big or mentioning how i look as if i've lost a fight with a wild animal when i wake in the morning.  Thank you for kissing me even when my breath is on hum.  Thanks for keeping the car full of gas and leaving money in the secret compartment that you thought I didn't know about.  Thanks for knowing that you're imperfect and not expecting perfection from me.  Thanks for being the kind of Daddy that the kids are excited to see each day.   Thanks for being the kind of Husband that I'm excited to see each day.  Ya Habibi, you awaken my heart and inspire my deen.

We've both made adjustments and compromises in order to build this life together. And allthough we love and respect each other, I'm humbled to know that we couldn't have made it one single day without the help of Allah.  We put Allah first in our lives and that is what unites us, saves us, guides us and preserves us.  I love you Habibi.  I love you fisabilillah.

When Allah takes something away from us, we can rest assured that He will replace it with something better. He asks from us only to respond to our grief and disappointment with trust and patience. How can the loss of a loved one, a child, be replaceable with better? Maybe that child would've been painfully ill; or perhaps he would've been a burden on his parents' deen, etc etc etc.  Believe me, I've been in a position to speculate the answers to this on more than one occasion.  And one can subject himself to this type of quandary until it drives him or her insane.  That's where the trust that Allahu Alim (Allah knows best) should take over and put an end to the "what if" syndrome. Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom has taken a person or situation from us and He, alone knows what replacement is better. 

A couple ayat of Qur'an that help me remember Allah's Wisdom when I need to find patience:

“…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Qur'an 2:216)
"For indeed with hardship will be ease (relief). Indeed with hardship will be ease." (Qur'an 94:5-6)

Allah has taken many things away from me that I'd felt contented with as well as entitled to keep.  But with the understanding of an awaiting compensation (either here or in the Hereafter), those losses are much easier to emotionally relinquish.

*I've added a link to a blog written by Suhaib Webb.  He has put what I've attempted to say in a much more eloquent way.  Had i read his blog first i probably wouldn't have said anything and just re-posted his instead.  Allahu Alim.       http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/personaldvlpt/closed-doors-and-the-illusions-that-blind-us/

This ban on Muslim women wearing a veil in France is not a precautionary step in thwarting "Terrorism" or "Islamic Extremism” or Innovation. If France were concerned with the humanitarianism aspect of preventing Muslim women from being forced to wear the veil they could implement social organizations and make support groups and safe houses for those women who are truly being persecuted. But instead they are prohibiting women who choose to wear a veil from getting an education, working in government offices, taking public transportation and in retrospect, forbidding them from leaving their homes (which, in all its hypocrisy is tantamount to the same crimes on women of which the Taliban were accused.)

The burqa or veil is worn by Muslim women when they leave their homes to go out in public places. There is no need in Islam to cover one’s body as such when she is at home with her family. So the very places France has banned the veil are ALL of the places a Muslim woman would wear it. Therefore the message France is sending to Muslim women of France is, “If we can’t see your face, we don’t want to see you at all.” And the message France is sending to the world is, “We will not tolerate anything but conformity to our way of life, our culture, and what we dictate as the acceptable societal norms.”

For the majority of Muslim women, to wear a veil is a choice they have made in order to dress more modestly and in turn pleasing The Creator(Allah). The veil for Muslims dates back to the wives of the Prophet Muhammad(peace & blessings be upon him). They all wore the veil. These women were and still are held in the highest esteem and are referred to as the "Mothers of the Believers." Their superior character and righteousness is a desirable thing to be emulated. Therefore many women choose to wear the veil in honor of dressing and behaving as these women had. There is even evidence of the importance of the veil in the Qur’an (although there are differences of opinion on whether it’s voluntary or mandatory so both are accepted). And it is documented in the Hadith (sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad) that the women heard the verses in the Qur’an about covering themselves and they immediately covered their faces as well. They are considered the BEST generation of Muslims with the BEST understanding of Islam. So for a Muslim woman to wear a veil is an exemplary act of worship and not a despicable act of innovation or extremism.

The irony of this is that a woman can walk the streets in a sheer dress, displaying herself for all to see and gawk at, and that is more acceptable in Western society than a woman displaying her modesty by covering her body from public viewing and scrutiny. Some might say the naked woman is the victim of her culture that misleads her to adamantly believe she is free. Yet she is often negatively labeled and categorized by her lifestyle choices. In turn, some might call the Muslim woman a hero for braving a lifestyle with values that are met with hostility, disdain, pity, misunderstanding, judgment, disrespect and discrimination, and often violence, not for the purpose of simply “doing whatever she wants.” But she weathers the opposition all in order to please The Creator(Allah).

So the current situation is that we can't afford to pay the mortgages on our homes due to outlandish interest rates and we can't indulge in eating pork because of the swine flu pandemic. Good thing Allah has warned against both of these things. Allah is All-Knowing, Most Merciful

I spent the first 21 years of my life without Islam. And during those years I dressed however the trends dictated. Sometimes I dressed completely opposite the trends just because, well that’s my nature. I wore short mini-skirts that gravely hindered my range of movements. I was always afraid of dropping something because I couldn’t bend over without exposing my rear. I figured that I'd either had to train myself to grip items much tighter or remember to squat down to retrieve fallen items. Eventually I realized I should just not wear the skirt.

In Junior High, tight tight jeans were popular. So I sported my oxygen restrictive jeans until I could no longer remember my name (not to mention the massive wedgies occurring). I had ta let um go. Oh, and I mustn’t forget that always reliable little black dress. It was a favorite of mine. I grew up in the days of always wearing stocking with a dress. Whoever invented stockings must have really hated women. Why else are we expected to wear something so fragile on our legs and feet? These are the things we use most while in motion. I would last no longer than 2 hours in a day without a huge run in my stockings, thus completely ruining the look.

I wore my hair big in the 80’s and straight in the 90’s. Big hair was somewhat difficult and time consuming for some of my girlfriends to achieve (my hair is of a more cooperative texture). We used to spend at least an hour with curling irons, back combing, hair sprays, jells, mousse, singed ears from the irons and a bit of cussing when that happened. We did all of this only to find that when the first gust of wind hit us from behind our big hair styles would be emancipated from the products that had united them in bondage. Now, the straight do’s were just as tedious to maintain. The natural enemy of my straight hair was humidity. If it were too humid, my straight locks would frizz. If it were raining, my hair would get wet and curl. UUgggghhhhh! This is when I started wearing hats.

Then, there was always the breaking-in of the new high heel shoes. Firstly the shoe was shaped completely wrong for human feet. I never knew anyone whose feet grew to a pin-point at the toe like I found in these shoes. But nonetheless, I was led to believe that these shoes would make me feel pretty. Well, for the first few days, they made my feet feel like they’d been mauled by pitbulls!

Let's talk about skin problems for a moment. For we all know that the look isn't complete without flawless pores. I’m still scarred by the mornings I would wake up only to discover the gigantic volcano of a pimple on my chin. Nothing says confidence like having someone stare, as if in a trance, into the “third eye” on your chin for an entire conversation. How do you hide that?

Everything changed the day I became a Muslim. Or did it? Well, Allah (God) instructed us, men and women to cover our bodies. Men have certain areas that they must keep covered and women have also. So now, out goes the little black dress and in comes the abayas and head scarves. An abaya is basically a loose fitting, long sleeved dress that comes down to the ankles. The main purpose is for a woman to cover her body in a way that doesn’t reveal her figure. This is so liberating. Who cares what I’m wearing because I’m just going to slip into my abaya and roll out. I personally like my abaya to reach a bit longer than my ankles only because with carrying babies and such, a dress can have a tendency to ride up a bit and I don’t want to play peek-a-boo with my legs. But there is a snag in this picture. Try climbing a flight of stairs with both arms full of groceries and a dress that is tripping you up each step. This makes for an ugly uphill battle (literally). It’s not the most graceful show you’ll witness.

Next is the headscarf. Muslim women also are required by Allah (not man) to cover the hair. Well this is great! No more waking up early to style my do before I go out. I'll save that for this evening before my husband comes home. But for now, I can just throw on my scarf and call it a day. And this is just what I do but…let’s talk about when the wind changes and becomes my enemy. I know other Muslim women have had this happen to them also. Picture it: I’m walking through the grocery store parking lot. Yeah, I think I look pretty smart in my black abaya and groovy purple silk scarf. All of a sudden a gust of wind smacks me in the back of the head and SWOOSH! My groovyness has now flown over my eyes while the entire back of my head is now blowing in the wind!

Several years into my Islamic journey I decided to wear a veil. Some women do and some don’t. It doesn’t make me more Muslim than anyone else. There are some who feel it’s a must and others who don’t. I have my personal reasons for the decision and I’m very satisfied. But that’s not to say that the veil is free from “wardrobe malfunctioning.” The good thing is that wind can no longer blow off my scarf. The veil (nikab) holds down the fort nicely. But here’s the thing: the level of where I tie my nikab behind my head makes a big difference. So if I dare wear my hair in a bun too high on my head, the nikab cannot be placed right and then it’s gonna be a bad nikab day. That means constantly tugging at the edges that keep creeping up to my eyes. So ponytail placement accuracy is a must for gratifying nikab days.
As you can see, no woman’s wardrobe is free of all kinks. But to assume that just because Muslim women use more material for their clothes that they are oppressed is ridiculous. I had a woman ask me, “Why do your men make you dress like that?” This was an honest question. She wasn’t trying to be rude. This was just how she misunderstood Islam. So I inquired, upon seeing her low cut blouse showing ample cleavage and her tight pants that revealed a beautiful figure, did her man make her wear this so he can show the world how beautiful his woman is. She told me that she dresses however she pleases. I then told her that Muslim women dress however Allah pleases and that Allah is pleased with how I’m dressed now.

My Mother, My Best Friend
by Muhammad Alshareef

Aseer ibn Jaabir narrates: Whenever people would come from Yemen, Umar would ask them, "Is Uways Al-Qaranee amongst you?" until, one year, he met Uways. He said, "Are you Uways Al-Qaranee?"

He said, "Yes."

Umar continued, "From Muraad, then Qaran?"

He said, "Yes."

Umar then asked, "Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham's area?"

Uways said, "Yes."

Umar finally asked, "Do you have a mother (that is alive)?"

He said, "Yes."

Umar then said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam say, 'Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham's area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you." Umar then requested from Uways, "Ask forgiveness for me." And Uways Al-Qaranee did.

Allah ta'aala commanded us in the Qur’an:

And your Lord decreed that you should worship none but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both attain old age in your life, then do not say to them 'uff' (a word of disrespect), nor shout at them, rather address them in terms of honor / And lower for them the wing of submission and humility through mercy. And say, 'My Lord! Grant them Your mercy as they brought me up when I was small' (Al Isra' 17/23-24).

Ad-Daylami collected from Al-Husayn ibn Ali, that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said:

"If Allah knew any smaller than 'uff' (tsk) to be disespectful to parents, He would have decreed it to be haram!"

A man came to the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam seeking permission to go for jihaad. The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam asked him, "Are your parents alive?"

He said, "Yes."

He - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - said, "Perform jihaad (in you kind treatment) of them" (Bukhari).

If someone came to you today and offered you a free lunch, no doubt your response would be to smile, speak kindly to them, and reserve a special place in your heart for their memory. Why is it then that our parents receive only cold stares, harsh words and bitter treatment and they are who they are in our lives? For twenty or thirty years they fed us, clothed us, washed us, and showered their mercy on our soft skin. Their love for us never dies even if we do; it is a love that goes even beyond us, to our children and even our children’s children.

Dear brothers and sisters, we all have parents, whether they are with us or not, and many have not understood the severity of their position in our lives and their right to be respected and revered. Today I want to remind you and I of the true position of our parents, may Allah have mercy on them all.

Birr al-waalidayn is a characteristic of the mu'min. Al-Hasan Al-Basree defined it saying, "Al-birr is to obey the parents in everything that they ask so long as it is not to disobey Allah. Uqooq is to disown your parents, denying them all of your goodness."

By the ijama' of the 'ulama, being respectful and obedient to one’s parents is fard. Ibn Hazm said, "(Obeying ones parents) is Fard!" and he quoted the verse:

And your Lord decreed that you should worship none but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents.

To better understand what is meant by birr al-walidayn (kindness to parents), the scholars set the following conditions for one to follow:

One: He should place the pleasure of his parents above the pleasure of anyone else, including himself and his wife and kids – everyone. Two: He should obey them in everything they command or forbid, whether it agrees with his desires or not, so long as they do not command the disobedience of Allah.

Three: He should present them with everything he feels they desire, whether they ask for it or not. He should present it with kindness and mercy, understanding that no matter what he does he will always have some shortcomings in fulfilling the true kindness that his parents deserve.

Allah's love comes when our parents love us. And Allah's anger comes when our parents are angry with us. Ibn Abbas radi Allahu anhu said, "There are three things that will not be accepted if its mate is not fulfilled." And he mentioned,

Thank Me (Allah) and your parents…(Luqman 31/14)